Once upon a time, my dad founded a school. He has not worked there for a long time, and few people at the school today have ever met him. This is why I would like to propose that a statue of Winston Churchill be erected on the school’s campus, preferably in the middle of the quad, or just past one end zone of the football field. 

The statue of Winston Churchill, looking stern, menacing, and just a little puffy around the jowls, will bear my father’s name. It will stare down at the you, the puny observer (this statue will be be at least 9 feet tall, if not 12 or 13), locking eyes and staring deep into your soul. The inscription will read, “One day, you too will be judged.” The statue will make at least 3 children cry, every year. 

This is ridiculous. I have clearly stayed up too late watching crap tv on Netflix. Please, forgive me.